once upon a time, in a land so remote, you would think you were in Saskatewan, there was an axe. this was not an ordinary axe, it had rusted away long ago, and was sitting in his living room, waiting to die. suddenly, there was a loud KABOOOOOOOM!!! which made the house tremble. Someone was knocking on the door. Since the axe was old and deaf, he needed a door handcrafted so that the knock would be loud enough to hear. After an hour of attempting to stand up, the axe finally succeded and opened the door. In front of the house were some young weapons, (a sword, a mace, and a lance) selling metal polisher. The axe, for no particular reason, hit a switch inside the door, which opened a teleporter, which zapped the young swords into the living room. Before the young swords had time to react, the old axe duct taped them to chairs. "what the fuck are you fucking doing?" asked the lance, who thought it was cool to swear as many times as he could in each sentence. "you have made the mistake of knocking on an old axes door, just as he was in a storytelling mood" replied the axe. "Since you are duct taped to chairs, you might as well listen to my tale of a battle between me, and my arch enemy, the old dictator, halberd. So relax, and listen to my old axes tale."

End of part 1